Monthly Archives: February 2008

How did you use your extra day?

Well it’s the day that mostly does not exist. At least 75% of the time. I hope you used it well and didn’t squander it like all the rest of your days with so much laziness and sloth. I know I didn’t. In fact I just got back from stuffing myself at my favorite local Mexican restaurant, El Minuto, with more abandon than usual simply because it was an extra, special day. And now I have updated Chicken Diction. (Whew.) All very important things. Don’t you think that we should all be paid overtime for working an extra day this year? Time and a half is definitely our due, I say. Tonight I think I will cut my hair. Wow. What would I have ever done without an extra day like this. This is your day to make a difference. Don’t frack it up. That’s right, I’m addicted to Battlestar Galactica, and I’m not afraid to say it. And I’ll use my extra day however I please.

Happy Leap Year Day from an old The Who poster!

Chickens in the News! #6

Consider this your first Public Service Announcement mixed with the News!….

Beware people in chicken mascot suits! One minute they will be protesting alongside PETA in Manila, Philippines against some horrible abuse of the International Declaration of Poultry Rights…

…and the next they will biting the heads of your children! You never know what will come over someone dressed in a giant chicken suit. Don’t let this happen to you or someone you love.

This has been a message from your local Chicken Diction broadcasting network. You now may return to your regular scheduled programming.

The Inside Coop #2

Second only the fact that I am now into the triple digits of blog posting, is what took place on Wednesday: ALL FIVE HENS laid eggs! And if that wasn’t fantabulous enough, I made the startling discovery that one of the Araucanas is masquerading as a Buff Orpington by laying not green, but beige colored eggs. That’s right, we have a South-American-Cracker-wannabe-Araucana-in-drag chicken in the hen house. While this may have skewed the daily egg count in terms of which delegates are assigned to which variety of chickens, I think the most important lesson that is to be learned in this week’s edition of The Inside Coop, is that chickens are indeed very talented and crafty little beings. Yeah. There are many many layers that make up a chicken, especially in this Menlo Park backyard of Tucson, Arizona.

Please join me next week for the third installment of The Inside Coop (brought to you by Chicken Diction Inc. and created by our good friend and neighbor, Caryn).


This is the 100th post on Chicken Diction and that is BIG NEWS. Big like this…

So it calls for some BIG celebration. Like this…

For the record.

Occasionally I find the need to stray from the not-so-subtle object of this blog and address matters of near equal importance to the goings-on of my backyard brood of hens. So for all you folks out there who are caught up in the fantasy world of dynasty-love, regurgitated go-get-’em politics, or the cult of personality, here you go. Being better than Bush does not mean they are better than each other.

Ode to Quoits.

For those lost souls out there who don’t know what quoits (pronounced quaits) are, here is a quick tutorial of this wondrous sport. It’s similar to horseshoes but a shorter distance (21 feet to be exact), shorter pegs, and instead of the open horseshoe shape it is a brass doughnut shape thus making “ringers” that much more difficult and therefore emotional. For more detail than you would ever want and some slightly awkward pictures of mostly overweight, middle-aged, white men, see the website for the United States Quoiting Association (really). You can even purchase your own set there. Here is evidence of the hours of enjoyment one can have playing quoits: we had to set out outdoor lighting to keep playing after dark! My set did not in fact come from the USQA website, but but from our dear friend Phil in Virginia, who is currently up for sainthood in our household due to his enormous generosity and strength of character for parting ways with this most beauteous set of quoits. Our dear friend Andrew also deserves a round of well wishes and prayers due to his self-sacrificing nature and allowing me to take this particular set when offered by Phil since as he said, “they make them right across the street from my house in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.” That’s right folks, this is me getting back to my Mennonite heritage and my only form of proselytizing – encouraging others to play this ever versital game of skill and technique, while most likely drinking beer.

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